ksm7 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 At this time, the Italian Hotdog and his team of professional experts has successfully concluded a nearly 17 month long investigation into a number of facets surrounding the NY Giants, and at this time, the dog would like to provide some general information with regards to the results of the said investigation. The Italian Hotdog will make some brief opening remarks, before allowing time for some questions. First, the dog would like to thank his team of experts for their tireless efforts. The results of the investigation are in fact conclusive and indisputable, and the dog will share those results now: - first, despite many accusations made here from the sportswrath community, Kevin Gilbride was not the second shooter on the grassy knoll during the Kennedy assassination. He was in fact only 12 years old, and at the time was eating burgers at his home. Nor was he involved in hiding any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. He is in fact a successful offensive cooridinator with far more experience than any of us in coaching. - After significant number crunching and evaluation, the dog's team of experts has concluded that Eli Manning continues to be consistently inconsistent. While the results of the investigation applaud Manning as a strong NFL QB, the data presented draws the conclusion that he is not elite. - While this has little to do with the results or pending results of the Giants future success, the dog's team of medical experts are concerned that Tom Coughlin suffers from Rosacea, and should seek immediate consult from a dermatologist. - After sufficient research, the Italian Hotdog's investigative team can confirm that Hakeem Nicks is a great talent in the midst of a contract year. There is some evidence that he would like his contract to state that he only has to play in 5 games a year, and will receive a bonus for every game he plays beyond that. For this year, the dog's team of mathematicians have concluded that there is a 50/50 chance that Nicks will play a complete NFL season this year, although there is only a 10% chance of this. - There is no evidence of an NFL conspiracy against the NY Giants, nor has there ever been. There is however some evidence that the top brass in the NFL finds Archie Manning painfully irritating. - Eating tuna fish for breakfast is never acceptable. Eating tuna fish in your underwear in the gyn locker room at 6:30 AM is flat out disturbing. While this has nothing to do with the Giants, the dog must make note of this: you know who you are. If you are a giants fan and member of this board, the dog is on to you. Leave the tuna at home. The smell in locker room in the morning is god awful. - Let's get this out of the way: Bigblue01 is not a superfan. The dog's team of experts has concluded that wearing a goofy outfit and making that declaration does not constitute one being considered a superfan. Having strong knowledge in your team and the NFL in general, and being able to present that knowledge intelligently with fact is in fact indicative of being a superfan. That title, on a side note, has been given to Herb Bosco from Cedar Rapids. Congratulations Herb. - While there is no conspiracy against the Giants, the dog is quite certain there is something shady going on invliving the Mannings: there is a direct correlation between the number of free steaks delivered to Archie Manning and the number of times a game Eli Manning yells Omaha at the line of scrimmage. Something is amiss. - It has been concluded that injuries are a part of the game and something that every NFL team is faced with every season. It is not an epidemic that impacts only the Giants. - Allstarjim doesnt actually coach or work for the Giants. This the dog knew, but his team has confirmed it. Oh well. That is all for now. The dog will have his team compose an official report to be released in the near future. The dog will now take any questions. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. P Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BadEgg Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMFP Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Bad Egg + the Italian Hotdog.......It's official.....the new season is here. Hope all is well, Dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksm7 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Share Posted September 5, 2013 Bad Egg + the Italian Hotdog.......It's official.....the new season is here. Hope all is well, Dog. Good morning to you fine sir. The Italian Hotdog is doing well, and looks forward to reestablishing life beyond the investigation. The dog does hope you are well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allstarjim Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Now we know exactly how long it takes to get over your rival winning a 2nd Super Bowl in 5 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksm7 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Share Posted September 5, 2013 Now we know exactly how long it takes to get over your rival winning a 2nd Super Bowl in 5 years. Possibly as long as it takes someone not associated with an NFL team to compose in depth scouting reports and film breakdown of games...for...fun? The Italian Hotdog is exhausted!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueInCanada Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 I for one, am glad the Dog has returned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chuck Wagon Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Other then Ricky Henderson....no one on the face of God's green Earth....is able to pull off referring to themselves in the 3rd person, better, then the Dog. C. Wagon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. P Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Other then Ricky Henderson....no one on the face of God's green Earth....is able to pull off referring to themselves in the 3rd person, better, then the Dog. C. Wagon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BleedinBlue Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 - While there is no conspiracy against the Giants, the dog is quite certain there is something shady going on invliving the Mannings: there is a direct correlation between the number of free steaks delivered to Archie Manning and the number of times a game Eli Manning yells Omaha at the line of scrimmage. Something is amiss. Good one! I think I've heard Peyton yell "Omaha" on occasion as well.....could it be subliminal advertising for Omaha steaks? Interesting theory! LMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sephiroth Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 I actually think we need to launch an investigation into what happened to BigBlue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UK-Giantsfan Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 bloody hell .......Bad Egg , Hotdog ........Jack will be back next .......Lockhart anyone ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringe Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Hey there, lonely boy.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6whzbYf9T1I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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