Sephiroth

Well, that was quite the shit show last night. Certain things were not surprising (Connor getting hurt, Cruz starring in the game) but others were total shockers (Wilson unable to hold on to the ball, six turnovers). With the ability to sign players and not guarantee their contracts, what would you do from here? There's a few things I think the Giants should definitely take a look at: 1. They need a running back who is serviceable. Wilson can be a kick returner but he probably won't see the field again for a few weeks... fumbilitis is a fatal disease in Coughlinville. Moreover, none of these guys can pass block, and Wilson almost got Eli killed a few times back there. Finding someone who can run and pass block should be the #1 priority. Maybe that guy is on the roster (Michael Cox?) but my guess is we'll get a Michael Turner or a Willis McGahee in here this week. 2. O-line depth. The only guy I can think of is Brandon Moore that's out there right now, but Jesus, that line play was terrible last night. Snee looks finished. Is Mitch Petrus still available (I'm not joking)? 3. Linebackers. Connor is hurt? Stunner... never saw that coming. Next week it will be Rivers and/or Williams. We need a vet there to provide stability and leadership. The odd thing is, before free agency began we were all saying these things, and instead we signed a risk/reward TE and sixteen defensive tackles, four of which will be free agents at season's end... when we'll have to do this all over again.

Remember when he lost his shit last year when Gilbride said that Justin Smith held a lot?

I hate prime time openers too. So long to wait and I'm guaranteed to be up till 2am... even if we win, I get so wound up that I can't sleep. I don't know who'll win, but the team holding the ball last should come out on top. Go Giants!

That's pretty cool, but I think that last one about "too much America" might have been made up.

See? This is what I mean. http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap1000000239471/article/jim-harbaugh-nfls-readoption-rules-flawed-biased For "the league's toughest coach," he sure whines like a bitch an awful lot.

I've always wondered how Eli would do without having (literally) 12 pre-snap reads and 3 optional routes for every receiver. Coming out of college, wasn't the consensus on him, "this is a guy you have to just let play?"

With the season around the corner, it's time for us to make our bold predictions. Many of you will remember my brilliant and thoughtful predictions from 2007, 2009, and 2010, all of which came to fruition. Heck, I'm so good, you could just read this post and not even have to watch the season if you didn't want to. For these reasons, I'm making my top five predictions for this season... you can obviously take these to the bank. 1. This season is a reverse of every Tom Coughlin season so far. To this point, the Giants always come out of the gate fast, hit a midseason slump, and end up finishing somewhere between 8-8 and 10-6. This season however, the schedule is much more balanced. The Giants will hover around .500 for the entire season, hope somebody else in the NFC hits THEIR late-season slump, and try to sneak into the playoffs... which leads me to: 2. There will be no postseason for the Giants. The NFC is a tough-as-nails division this year. The West looks to be plenty tough, the North has at least three competitive teams, and the South will have a rejuvenated Saints team to pair with the Falcons. Any or all of those teams should end up with 10 wins. The Giants won't be able to beat out Washington for the division, which means they'll be watching the playoffs from their couches this year. 3. The defensive line will be a deadly death force of death. Tuck looks to be completely revitalized and will have his best season as a pro, barring injury. Kiwanuka is back at his natural position where he actually makes plays. Cullen Jenkins will prove to be an absolute beast, and Rogers, Joseph, Patterson, and Moore all look to be serviceable. The Giants good line play will allow them to take their time with JPP's return, which shouldn't happen until week 3 or so. 4. The rest of the defense will be terrible. The only real player of note in the defensive backfield is the Mook, and there's already some pretty bad injuries back there. Rolle is serviceable, but Webby and Ross are on the downsides of their careers, Hosely has shown nothing, and TT is one injury away from being your garbage man. Speaking of injuries... the Giants linebackers suck to begin with, and they'll probably be pulling guys off the street by week 4 to plug in at LB... and those are guys who can't outplay Dan Connor and Keith Rivers. There's no Chase Blackburn sitting out there waiting... they're going to be in some serious trouble. If the DL fails, expect some pretty awful and lopsided statistics for the once-proud unit. 5. David Wilson will have a breakout season. Eli, however, will only look average. Wilson has the tools to be an elite NFL back, and something tells me that once he gets that starting job, he's never looking back. I wouldn't be surprised if his blocking is actually downright good by midseason. Eli is going to have a hard time behind an aging, patchwork line... and let's face it, he's been pretty streaky throughout his career. I'd expect somewhere around a 58% completion percentage, 25 TDs, 20 INTs and about 3800 yards.

I think that contract is really going to come back and bite the Ravens in the ass in the next 2-3 years. Hard to sign impact players when you have a QB eating up all that cap space, and that guy can't win a game or two for you on his own.

I actually think we need to launch an investigation into what happened to BigBlue.

I'm pretty sure the plan is to put Ojomo at safety.

You know we don't have any bets this year, right?

I think a lot of this too may have to do with the fact that free agents signed before the first game have their entire contract guaranteed. You're going to see a lot of pickups around the league come Tuesday.

I pity the fool who ends up with a deficient Clubber Lang gene.

A Scott-Wilson backfield has big-play potential written all over it. I'm not sure how Scott would do as a short yardage guy (which is what we really need) but coaches on the team say he's actually faster than Wilson. I'm glad they're at least giving him a shot. It's not like Beanie Wells and Leon Washington are going to be off the market in five days.

Giants fans are "assholes," who "ogle tits in the parking lot?" 75% of the home fans are 80-year old men who still talk about the polo grounds and are asleep at halftime. Also, I can 100% guarantee that it was Pat Hanlon that sent that angry email. Guy is a fucking idiot.

I was noticing that Brewer is a decent-to-above-average guard as well. Dude looked good in the running game especially on the plays I was watching.

Not a chance he ends up here. We're good with Dan Connor, Phillip Rivers and some other guy.

I think once Hynoski is healthy you'll see Donnell go to the practice squad. Right now our FB (Pascoe) is taking up a TE spot.

If there's one spot where we're thin, it's OL. I mean, besides our Pop-Warner linebackers.

Sweet!

No idea. Make Nassib the 2nd guy; he can't be worse than Painter.

Wow, some of you really thought we'd cut Nassib? The guy was projected as high as 16th overall in the draft by some people. He didn't show much but when you have .35 seconds per throw it's kind of tough to make an impression.

Marvin Austin hasn't done dick until these past two preseason games where he finally decided to turn it on against 3rd string scrubs. I pray he's in a Dallas uniform a week from now. We'll rush for 200 yards. Watch his game film from last year if you want to see how Austin really plays.

Dude has "career missionary" written all over him.