Yes, ladies and gentlemen... the time has come to board the Bill Cowher Bandwagon. Please check my signature for further details.
You heard that correctly. Like that Giants great Jim Fassel, I'm pushing all my chips to the center of the table. Despite our "winning" record, I boldly proclaim, "This team is not making the playoffs. Anyone that wants to get in can get in. Anyone who wants out can get out."The bandwagon is now boarding. Bill Cowher, Seer of Seers, Coach of Coaches, needs to be the next head coach of the New York Giants. Not an opinion, a fact. The Cowher Manifesto is canon around these parts, and soon you'll all be groveling for a chance to board the 'wagon.
Now, I'm sure it will take time for most of you to appreciate the genius of this inevitability. Genius, as you all know, is seldom recognized in its own time. However, as you invariably come around, I won't permit carte blanche to just hop on the Cowher Bandwagon any time you like. This is an exclusive wagon of greatness... unfit for the naysayers, lilly-livered, or limp-wristed.
You may notice that there is only room for three more of you... so as this season inevitably crumbles, whether it be 7-9, 6-10, or 5-11, three more is all that will be permitted. Three shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the counting shall be three. You can select whether you'd like to play the trombone or trumpet as they are available, but once those spots are gone, they're gone. There will be no, "well, now that we're 5-10 I want a spot!" The Cowher Bandwagon is for believers only, not fair-weather Cowher fans.
All aboard, ladies and gentlemen. Prepare to laugh in the face of the naysayers as their taunts fall impotent against the wall of your iron will. Embrace your greatness. I'll see you all on the Bandwagon.