Fuck it, I give up.
However, this has reaffirmed why I don't give the NFL any of my money. I signed up for a fucking free trail of Game Pass and nowhere did it say the game was blacked out... if I had paid money for this I'd be fucking livid.
Now I've got a pizza and bowl of hot wings and one son who's very pissed off that he can't watch the Giants. Thanks, NFL!