Sephiroth

Hmm. Maybe I'll go with "He Touchdown Me." Nostalgic, yet subtly gay as well.

You know, it gets really tiresome doing this every year. I wish, just for once, I wouldn't be right on every single count of what I predict. I'm like a Nostradamus if Nostradamus had actually predicted anything and not written everything in weird, quasi-poetic quatrains that were predicted as prophetic years after said event. Anyways, I've looked once again into my crystal ball and I've seen the future... the Giants future. Watch out Vegas, because you can take these predictions to the bank. We will finish as a bottom-five running team. You think the blocking is bad in preseason? At least then we had three blocking backs on the roster. Gone is anyone that can run block who isn't a lineman (and we have two lineman that can't do that either). Just imagine a pitch out to Jennings in a two-TE formation with the imposing forces of Larry Donnell and Will Tye bearing down on you. We don't even have a fullback on this team. Get ready for 3.2 YPC average. Odell Beckham will be the offensive player of the year. I'm thinking he ends up with somewhere around 1850 yards and 15 TDs. He's literally the only worthwhile player on offense not named Eli, unless you count Larry Donnell and his Somersaults of Doom. He's going to absolutely school Josh Norman this year, and it's going to be hysterical. I can't wait to hear Norman's excuses. Olivier Vernon has 15 sacks. This dude is exactly what this defense has needed since Strahan left. He actually looks like Osi and Strahan combined into one guy; small and quick like Osi, but can still bull rush like Strahan. Also, his work ethic seems to be off the charts and he looks mean as fuck. Vernon is going to have a big, BIG year, make the Pro Bowl, and will be in consideration for first-team All-Pro Cruz becomes the #2 receiver, Shepard is the #3. Cruz will actually be healthy and honestly, showed up for as many plays in preseason as Shepard did. SS might turn it on at the end of the season, but I haven't seen anything yet to make me a believer. The Giants have somebody every year that looks great in camp but goes on to do nothing (Barden, Randle, Moss, etc). I hope Shepard isn't that guy but I don't see what the big deal is about either. We'll make the playoffs. I think 9-7 might win the East this year. Everyone seems to be writing the Redskins off, and while I think they'll be good, I think we'll split with them. Dallas and the Eagles are each starting a rookie; last year they'd have won both games, but this year we'll have an actual pass rush. Most importantly, Wellman has this team fit and injury-free, and we won't have twenty guys in IR by December. That can't be understated, and will likely be the biggest (and most unheralded) reason we make it back to the playoffs.

All 53 players practiced this week. It turns out when you focus on recovery, sleep, and have a post-1957 conditioning program, you don't end up with eight players on IR each August. Where's the Wellatar, bitches?

Casillas?

Giants win, and win big. Dak throws three picks, two of which are returned for TDs.

We should have cut him for a 4th string QB. I heard Throwy McThrowerton is available.

Every year, I try to name my teams something that has nothing to do with football, and make up a cool logo for the team. In the past, I've gone with Team Death Pod (Alien Facehugger Egg picture), Team Ghidorah (Ghidorah image with lightning), and Winter is Coming (Knight's King from GoT). This year, I'm thinking about either going with "Blood and Thunder" with the "I have a boyfriend" comic strip, or "I Drink... and I Know Things" with a Tyrion logo. Which should I do?

So now what, Josh Kline? Oh, my bad, we're good with John Jerry and Marshall Newhouse.

Whelp, looks like one of our 2016 opponents gets it.

How would you rate my fantasy team? 8 team league, standard scoring, QB-2RB-2WR-FLEX-D/ST-K QB - Drew Brees RB1 - Le'Veon Bell RB2 - Doug Martin WR1 - Odell Beckham Jr. WR2 - A.J. Green TE - Gary Barnidge FLEX - Brandin Cooks D/ST - Bengals K - Blair Walsh Bench: RB C.J. Anderson, Carlos Hyde WR - Demaryius Thomas, Marvin Jones, Donte Moncrief, Josh Gordon* QB - Blake Bortles *I put in a waiver claim on DeAngelo Williams at the expense of Josh Gordon though.

Pretty good. I like Rivers and Luck this year, and LOVE Gurley/Bell. I'd drop Woodhead or Bernard and pick up DeAngelo Williams as a handcuff for Bell. i love Green and Cooper. The rest of those guys are meh. Decker might but up numbers, but Marvin Jones is the Detroit WR you want this year. Reed is awesome if he can stay healthy, but that's never happened. I think Ertz will have a nice year this year, and you'll probably be starting him sooner than later.

Casillas is a mixed bag. He made some tremendous plays in the preseason, but then followed it up by taking some really poor angles on subsequent plays. He does seem to be looking better this year than in previous years, I just hope this rib issue doesn't linger with him.

I've heard this too and if so, I guess it makes a little more sense. If that's the case though, couldn't we have gotten rid of Herzlich?

I'll take "good" over "average to bad," which is what the right side of our line is now. You really feel confident running behind John Jerry on third-and-one? The guy is durable; he's not Geoff Schwartz. I guess we'll see... but again, with 20 million in cap room, something should have been done about this. We had no problems overpaying for players on defense... can we get ONE guy who can run block on offense?

You guys don't understand. With Nassib, Reese is planning on turning that fourth round pick into a second. Genius from that man, I'm telling you.

This guy wasn't the next available anyone. He was a Pro Bowl player at a position that is very weak on the team. As of right now, we don't have a fullback on the roster. We have no blocking TE, no run blocking RT or Guard, and our LT is pretty suspect. The only reason we got Beatty back on the team is because he reached out to the Giants, not the other way around. It's great that we have three good receivers but if nobody can block, this is going to be a very short season. This guy could have helped that.

Again though... we cut him for Josh Johnson.

I thought Brinkley was the best LB on the team. And not for nothing, but who the fuck is Josh Johnson? You wanna tell me we cut our best MLB for a quality backup like Mark Sanchez or Shaun Hill, I get it. We cut him for a journeyman on his eighth team? WTF?

That's fair. We don't know and probably never will. It's just incredibly frustrating to see last year's backups as this year's starters when we have 20 million to spend. Money talks... we should be in better shape on OL than we are.

I'm starting to think Reese regards the Guard position the same way he views TE and the entire linebacking corps. You can get away with scrub players and it's not that important. If JR understood how bad our players are at the position, we'd see David Yankey, Junior Vasquez, Jahri Evans, that huge Samoan from Tennessee, etc. in for a visit, and we'd sign the best of the bunch. Guaranteed that doesn't happen.

Because when you don't, your starting guard ends up being John Jerry. I mean, who knows. Maybe they talked to him and he said he doesn't want to play in New York. It's just frustrating to hear from the team mouthpieces that they're waiting on somebody being released, etc. and when somebody is, they sit on their hands and do nothing. Our QB is 36...I hope he doesn't get killed behind this terrible line. I'll say this right now... if you hear the words, "Ryan Nassib drops back to pass" the season is over.

On the plus side, we released arguably our best linebacker to sign a 30 year old journeyman QB who's now with his eighth team. One has to wonder what the hell is going on in Reese land...

Unless you get them in a trade. Maybe Green Bay was asking too much but I'd have made them a good offer considering the state of our line. My guess is they would have taken something over nothing when it's all said and done.